No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
