it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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