The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
