Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
