You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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