Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
