Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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