I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize