the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
