Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
