69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
