I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
