remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
