I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
