My liver just broke up with me...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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