I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
