So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize