after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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