is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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