I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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