just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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