My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Shame - the story of my life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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