She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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