just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
