she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
