My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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