We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
