Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
