my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
