is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize