I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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