apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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