I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
