you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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