I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
