remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
