Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
