Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
