I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Let's paint friendship bongs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
