Heybabeimwearingurpanties
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize