That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize