I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize