how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
