i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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