Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
