I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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