Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize