she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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