Im at strip club and am horny
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
