if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize