the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
