Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
