You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize