We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
