i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
