Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
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no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
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Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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