In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
