her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
they're staring at me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
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I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
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Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!