yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.