I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
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I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
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Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.