Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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