shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize