Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
