marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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