So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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