It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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