i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
