So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
