Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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